1/4 cup of rye
1 tsp. “Really Simple Syrup”—put equal parts sugar and water into a jar, tighten the lid, and shake until the sugar is dissolved
4 dashes of bitters (Snotty N’Awlanders demand Peychaud’s, but use Angostura on principle)
Absinthe or Pernod—1/2 tsp. in the original, but pour as much as you want
Dump all ingredients sloppily into any size glass except a 3.5 ouncer. Disregard the lemon. Stir with your finger, lick the finger in front of your guests, and serve.